Autism and Eating

As time goes on and this blog advances, I'm sure there will be many examples of what a good eater my son is. Gulliver is my youngest (not including the one still in utero), and highest needs child. He is seven years old and has non verbal autism. He is also on the diagnostic pathway for ADHD, has learning and processing difficulties and disordered sleeping. He has little interest in toys and little to no interest in TV and film. What does he like to do? Sensory seek!

Eating offers an entire sensory experience. It invloves sight, touch, smell, taste, sound. This makes it the perfect activity for an extreme sensory seeker like Gully.

From a very young age, he has loved big flavours such as gherkins, olives, curry. He is a meat lover and not squeamish of skin or bones (admittedly he doesn't comprehend what these are). He grins at the sight of a plate of food, he will use a spoon or fork intermittently as he also likes to get his hands involved. You can take him to any type of restaurant you fancy and there will be something there that he will enjoy. One of our recent restaurant trips was to a Turkish place in Gateshead, where he demolished a plate of stuffed vine leaves. The waiter was so impressed and amused that he gifted Gully with a slice of chocolate cake.

My eldest is fourteen years old and has PDA (ASD) and she is the exact opposite. She is a sensory avoider and thus, her palate is very limited. If I took her out to eat when she was younger, it had to be for pizza, plain tomato pasta or chicken nuggets - but only certain types of chicken nuggets. They couldn't be homemade but they couldn't be really cheap ones either.

I can count on one hand the meals that she likes, and the couple of homemade meals aren't even safe because they can vary in taste and texture. For example, she likes a pasta bake I make sometimes. The sauce is made with roasted peppers and cherry tomatoes, and I add chicken to it. However, the last time I made it, the chicken was 'chewy' and she has since had no desire to eat it. Every time I suggested making it, she refuses. This will likely be her stance until she is absolutely sick of the few meals that are on her current rotation.

This is exactly why lots of kids (and adults) with autism or sensory processing disorder eat so many processed foods. They are safe because they don't change - unless the recipe is purposefully changed by the company of course. There are no surprises with textures or varying flavour.

Why am I telling you all this? I am writing this because if you are here, you are likely the parent or carer of a neurodiverse child, and you maybe have a child like my daughter. I want you to hear me when I say this: it is not your fault.

Your child's eating habits are not your fault. I feel the need to say this due to the rampant parent-bashing on social media when it comes to 'picky eaters'. I've not seen a single video of a parent sharing their child's safe foods that doesn't have negative comments: 'they'll eat when they're hungry'...'stop feeding them that junk and they will eat something proper'...'you're giving them autism with all that processed food'...'you need to expose them to more variety then they won't be so fussy'.

Both my children were raised the same when it comes to food. I love to cook and cook from scratch most evenings, they were both exposed to various foods and dishes when they were infants. My daughter still became sensory avoidant and my son eats things I've never even tried myself (you wouldn't catch me eating meat off the bone!). I am not to thank or to blame for either of their diets. I do my best to offer my son exciting eating experiences, and to ensure my daughter is getting as balanced a diet as possible with the limited amount she will eat.